fast forward
we’re here in the future looking back at the flash that was 2023 with all the good, bad, and in between— we’re traveling in time. many of us are lucky to be in places without war or poverty, but not all of us. many of us have avoided sickness, or have good medical care, but not all of us. i am immensely grateful for the goodness life has bestowed on me and while i’ve worked hard during my life, i don’t for a minute think that luck hasn’t played a part in the life i have today. someone once told me, “happiness is wanting what you have”, and today, i definitely do.
i was explaining my early-life detour out of and back into the music business to someone recently. like many, i had early brushes with fame and fortune which eluded my grasp. i couldn’t quite hold on. my band broke up. my manager revealed his psychosis. my struggle to survive collided with self medication and my own psychosis. i couldn’t support myself. i had to surrender. at 24, which felt like 64 at the time after several glittering lifetimes, i walked away from music and forced myself to learn accounting. i studied with 17 and 18 year olds. it felt degrading and humiliating. i got a job at a big international accounting firm and passed the cpa exam. i supported myself and got married and had children. i wondered what happened to me. in my mid-30’s, i wrote the first song i’d written in 10 years. my old sound man invited me to record with him at his home studio. my old bandleader built a band around me. i started playing open mics, then bars. i met paul. we made our first album. i decided to reverse my life and put music in the center as my “day job” and let money-making work around that. shortly after making that decision, i got a publishing deal, and a small foreign record deal. our songs started playing on tv. i was recruited to eMusic to acquire record companies for them and the company quickly became worth millions. luck.
as i was recounting my early “failure” in music, i heard myself saying, “there is reality, but there is also the undeniable drive to create that eventually finds its way if you truly have that drive; but there is also ALWAYS luck.”
it dawned on me that my forced sojourn away from music actually strengthened my connection to it. in the course of my re-started career, i’ve had my heart re-broken by the business, even as i swore i would never let that happen again. and like all but those in the very highest echelon, i’ve experienced the dreadful economics that have all but wiped out “middle class” artists. in “failing” the first time, i learned that connection to art is unlike anything else, and the drive to create is as strong as the drive to procreate.
i no longer “divide up the money” between the royalties i’m paid and the income i generate from other endeavors. my travels, my tastes, the ones i love all come from music in one way or another. this is the life that makes me say, “i want what i have.”
so on we go with our recordings and our lifetime residency at vincent’s and our little history— into the future.
we hope to see you at vincent’s worcester on saturday, january 13th, and we wish you all a very happy, healthy and lucky new year.
love,
jc